The Adventure
by JeanAlexandra
Summary: Queen Beryl is getting upset with her incompetent subordinates.So she will give the Shitennou the punishment of a lifetime. SenshiXShitennou pairings,a little sparks fly between SenshiXff7 boys later
1. Prologue

Hiya Everyone,this is my second fanfic, and I need betareader please, anyone?

Warning : T for language, slight Mamoru bashing,this story is more like the first story arc, re-written by ME!Har..har..

Notes : This fic is meant to be light hearted, don't take it too seriously. Zoisite is STRAIGHT in this fic, and Rei is in her manga personality, so there will be no raspberry war between Rei & Usagi. And this is not, I repeat, this is NOT an Usagi centered fic. There will be NO pairings for Usagi, enough with the spotlight already!! my first attempt at humor, and also I'm writing this for fun. It's kinda stress relieving really! A little crack won't hurt, right? right?

Flamers, you have no life, go away please. And readers, if you feel like it, please review! Thank's a lot!

* * *

PROLOGUE

Queen Beryl is bored. After years of fighting, scheming evil plans, and unsuccessfully trying to kidnap Tuxedo Kamen every time she had a chance, she wondered why she was still hiring these incompetent subordinates, the mighty Four Heavenly Kings or you may call them The Shitennou. "Feh! No wonder they have 'shit' written as their first syllable" she muttered. It's been 5 years since The Dark Kingdom tried to take over the Silver Crystal and rule the world, but their entire plan somehow didn't work. She already gave one of her punishment to Jadeite, the fearful 'Eternal Sleep', and sent the giant crystal case of hunky blond villain into oblivion. But during these years, the Global Warming effect was so powerful it can broke Beryl's spell and melt the ice crystal surrounding Jadeite, set him free.

Hell, even the usually cold and gloomy Dark Kingdom castle was slowly begun to rise in temperature. This gave Queen Beryl the crazy mood swings. "Damn! These stupid humans keep cutting all the trees and wrecking the ozone! I can't stand this heat anymore! Give me my Alaskan iced tea!" She shrieked. In an instance, a random youma emerged from the dark background, bringing her a tall glass of Alaskan iced tea. She sipped rather sloppily and choked"Affggh….what the hell…" the Alaskan iced tea taste more like salted vodka. Apparently the random youma didn't know how to mix drinks. Well, what do you expect? He's a youma not a bartender for metallia's sake. Queen Beryl spat out her curses and toss the Alaskan Iced Tea into oblivionville.

She stood up from her throne, walking back and forth muttering something like "stupid…..Shall punish……".She turned around to see her crystal ball glowing. "O mighty crystal ball…give me your vision…..tell me, where have all those four bastards gone...?" The crystal ball glowed even more, and inside, there was a vision of Jadeite standing inside of a Shinto temple, talking to a beautiful raven haired shrine maiden. Suddenly the vision blurred, and another scene emerged. This time she saw Zoisite, sitting in a balcony and playing chess with a dainty blue haired girl.

"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrgghh…..!!! No…NO….NO!! This can't be!!..."

The crystal ball didn't stop there, another blurring occur and a vision of Kunzite holding hands with a beautiful blonde girl was enough to drive the queen to the verge of insanity. "Aaaaahhh…..My eye! My eyeee!!!" Queen Beryl covered her eyes, and with another eerie shriek she told the crystal ball to stop.

"STOP!!!"

The crystal ball stopped. Beryl was furious. "Hah!! So now I know why they never get the job done! They are busy doing these…these…things…..with those pathetic humans! Imbeciles!" She spat. "Now Beryl, you must think….think of one hell of a punishment for them…why can't I just kill these bastards? No…no….I can't kill them, they are too good to be killed…besides, they have these ominous supernatural powers just like me…hmm….what should I do?" Beryl muttered to herself, while still walking back and forth in front of her throne. Then suddenly, a light bulb appeared on her head."OH!!...oh….Ohohohohohohohoho……."her evil laugh echoed through the Dark Kingdom lair.

"Yes…..I know how to make them….suffer…..OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!…."


	2. Queen Beryl's Wrath!

CHAPTER ONE

Queen Beryl's Wrath!

After years of useless fights against the stubborn Sailor Senshi, the Shitennou decided to have a friendlier relationship with their nemesis. One day, Nephrite accidentally said"Hell, these sailor chicks are pretty hot…why don't we just date them?" At the sudden splurge from their comrade, something in the Shitennou's brain clicked. 'Yeah….why do we have to fight them? We've seen them grown up and becoming such beautiful ladies…and we've been staying single for god knows how long…'with that thought, they took some action to approach these ladies. It was hell-bent at first, because the Senshi kept suspecting that the action was only a part of their evil plans. Boy, they got fried, electrocuted, lasered, misted, thrown with tiara so many times by the Senshi. But they never give up until the last minute. After some time, they finally captured the Senshi's heart.

Zoisite sat in front of Ami, twirling his long strawberry blond ponytail with his fingers. Ami looked calm and serious as usual. She was contemplating for the next move. Defeating Zoisite in chess was always easy for Ami. Zoisite started to shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Ami-chan, what do you really like about me?" He asked. Ami just gave him a small smile, but her eyes never left the pawns on her side. Zoisite pouted."So?...Don't you want to answer me?...or probably you're too shy to answer? Well, I can understand that, you're a naturally shy person, but don't you think….."

"Zoi-chan, if you think that you could distract me with your unnecessary blabbering, you're absolutely wrong….Check Mate."

Zoisite's face fell flat. Ami smiled and brought her face up to look at her flamboyantly handsome companion. "I like you, because you're fun. You make me feel something that I've never felt before. And there's this….weird Déjà Vu…..It's like…….I've known you before……" Ami's azure eyes looking closely to zoisite's jade green ones. A moment of comfortable silence afterwards and suddenly Zoisite's body tensed. He heard Queen Beryl's voice inside his head, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"ZOISITE!!!You fool! Come Here! Now!" Zoisite rolled his eyes"Yeah, I'm coming….crazy old wench…."

"…What?"

"Huh? Oh…Ami-chan, will you wait for a moment? Queen Beryl needs me so I'm going to teleport my shadow form to Dark Kingdom, she probably just wanted to scold me again." Ami nodded in confusion. Zoisite tensed a little more, and a green glow emerged from his body, leaving him in a state of trance. Ami's eyes were wide in shock to see Zoisite's now empty green eyes, and his body sitting stiffly in front of her.

* * *

Jadeite is one lucky bastard. He was sentenced to the eternal sleep, but thank's to these puny humans, the global warming had a really good effect on his crystallized state. He broke free after the enormous heat melted the crystal, and decided not to go back to the Dark Kingdom lair. Good thing that he actually worked for Hikawa Jinja a while ago, so it was pretty easy for him to approach Rei Hino, the beautiful shrine maiden slash Sailor Mars slash the psychic pyro. He easily got his old job, working as a full time temple assistant in Hikawa Jinja.

"Jeddy, quit with your daydreaming and please help me with these." Said Rei, bringing two buckets full of today's laundry. "Where's Grandpa?"

"He went outside to seek fresh air." Jadeite smirked, lifting one big bucket from Rei's hand. "Say, Rei-chan, do you want to go on a date tonight? It's Saturday, and I think we can…you know…go out and have some fun?" Jadeite's cheeks slightly blushed. This was the third time that he ever asked her on a date. She already refused the first two. Jadeite can only crossed his fingers….. Well, at least he's trying.

"……Hmm…" Rei look flustered. She unconsciously licked her lips. Jadeite's eyes were wide in anticipation.

"Okay…..after we finished the chores. Now get back to work, please…" She said, avoiding Jadeite's deep blue eyes. She walked through the corridor and gone out of sight. Jadeite's face filled with the biggest, goofiest smile ever, "Yes!!Yes!! woo-hoo…she's going out with me tonight!!!" he did the silly victory dance and hopping mad like a sugar high 5 year olds.

"JADEITE!! Enough!! Get your ass back here, NOW!!!!" A creepy female voice screamed. Jadeite stopped hopping. "Huh? Rei-chan? Did you say something?" His blue eyes darted everywhere, trying to locate the voice but in an instance, he recognized that it was Queen Beryl's voice talking inside his head. "Uh….Queen Beryl-sama…"

"YES! IT'S ME YOU MORON! You dare to run away from Dark Kingdom! I shall punish you with every torture that I could ever think of!!! Now use your teleport skill and bring yourself to me!!!"

"No!! I don't wanna go back!" Jadeite resisted. "HAH! You ungrateful little bastard…alright then, I will MAKE you appear in front of me!"

After hearing the odd sound, Rei appeared from the corner. She saw Jadeite's terrified blue eyes "Jeddy what's wrong?"she rushed herself to his side.

"No..Rei…stay away…..I'm alright" Jadeite pushed her away from him, and with a fierce red glow, Jadeite's body disappeared right in front of Rei's eyes.

* * *

It was a sunny Saturday, but Nephrite managed to have a lunch meeting with his colleagues in a fancy French restaurant in New York. Over the years, Nephrite had established his own corporation called the Starlight Corp. Specializing in Nano technology and weaponry. He had different disguise name on earth, depending on the region. In the US, he was widely known as Mr. Maxfield Stanton, but when he's in Japan, they called him Sanjouin Masato. He worked so hard to incur all the money to support Dark Kingdom's activities. Youma research and creations were not cheap you know, and also who's going to buy all of those Queen Beryl's Tuxedo Kamen plushies and Cupcakes if Dark Kingdom had no money?

Nephrite was having a business talk to one of his partners, the bald CEO from Burges&Brocks Inc. "Sir, I don't think I can handle too much order at once. You see, the Black Crystal bullets are pretty hard to make, and it probably will cost you much if you……"

Beep, beep! Beep, beep!

The soft beeping sound from his cell phone cut short the conversation, Nephrite excuse himself for a moment. "Hey Neffy! How are you?" a sweet cheery voice from the person on the other line made him swoon. "Hey there Mako-Chan, I'm sorry I can't talk too much, I'm on a lunch meeting with my partners right now…"

"Oh, it's okay Neffy-chan. I just miss your voice, please come home soon. Bye!"

"Okay honey. Bye" Nephrite ended the call and resumed his conversation, "So, where were we?"

Beep, beep!

Another beeping sound. This time he flipped it open and saw one short text message from unidentified number saying "NEPHRITE! I SUMMON YOU HERE! NOW! "

"….What the hell?......"

"Mr. Stanton? Are you alright?" the CEO's voice brought Nephrite's attention back. "Sir! I'm alright, now where we supposed to…."

Beep, beep!

Nephrite ignored the annoying sound,"Back to our business sir, I think you should try to minimize the…."

"NEPHRITE!! I've had enough of this nonsense!! I summon you to Dark Kingdom!"

A sheer force surrounded Nephrite, "Oh...No…" He closed his eyes, trying to fight back the force from Queen Beryl. He succeeded a little, his shadow flown away to Dark Kingdom, but his body stayed. Leaving his business partners in shock to see Nephrite's eyes rolled up and his face fell flat into a plate of mashed potato. Panic words can be heard between the businessmen.

"What's wrong?!"

"Did he get a heart attack?!"

"Somebody call the Ambulance!!"

* * *

Kunzite is in love. Crazily in love, with a beautiful blonde girl whose smile was so bright it brought butterflies to his stomach. Of course, being the strong and silent type he is, he never actually showed his feelings toward Minako. She didn't bother about it either.

"Whew…such a lovely day isn't it? So Kunzy, where are we going right now?" Mina beamed to her silver haired lover.

"Hmm…did you ever get tired? We've been running around the town for about….."He paused to take a look at his watch"5 hours…." Kunzite said with a little hesitation in his voice. He had no choice but being dragged around with Minako to the amusement park, and after that, he had to accompany her for a shopping spree in the crowded Juban mall. Not to mention the countless shopping bags that she handed to him to carry.

"Kunzy, Look!" Mina chirped. Kunzite cringed to hear his pet name being shouted like that. He never approved the nickname. But knowing Minako, she would make some excuses like "It's the way humans show their affection to the significant other! calling their nicknames!" or," Using nicknames made me feel closer and comfortable with you, Kunzy. It's just the sign of how much I love you." And Kunzite had no option but to melt into a puddle of sticky pink goo. Minako ran into one of the fancy small shop on the side of the street. She purchased something small and shiny. Kunzite just stood there, watching his lovely sunshine ran back to him."I brought you this.." She opened the small box and inside, there was a silver ring carved with a letter 'K&M'. "What do you think? Do you like it?" Mina smiled. At first Kunzite didn't know how to react, but seeing the glimmer in Mina's eyes just enough to make Kunzite stutter "I…yes…Mina….I like it."

Mina smiled even wider, "Here, let me put this to your finger …"

"KUNZITE! I summon you here! Right now!" A woman's voice screamed inside his head. "Queen Beryl-sama, yes my queen, I will be right there." He answered telepathically.

"Minako-chan, let's go home."

"But, Kunzy..Why all of a sudden?"

"Queen Beryl needs me, and she sounded really angry. I don't want you to…." Kunzite's body glowed with bluish hues and in a blink of an eye, Kunzite was gone. Minako was petrified, and the entire passerby were staring in shock before they can run like hell.

* * *

The Shitennou's four figures stood in front of Queen Beryl's throne. Two of them appeared to be shadows of Zoisite and Nephrite. They look extremely annoyed by Queen Beryl's untimely order. Queen Beryl just sat there, inspecting the look on her officers' faces.

"Now, do you fools ever wonder why I summon you here on this….unlikely hour?" She asked.

"New missions?" Jadeite asked.

"No."

"You're hiring new subordinates?" Zoisite asked.

"No!"

"You need us to buy you a new Tuxedo Kamen plushie?" Nephrite asked.

"NO! NO, NO, NO! YOU IDIOTS!!" Queen Beryl looked very frustrated. She stood up from her throne, and swayed her hands like a crazy conductor,"I'm going to punish all of you because of THIS!!" she pointed her finger to the glowing crystal ball. It beamed like a projector and visions of the Shitennou dating the Senshi in their human form emerged. The Shitennou was not impressed at all. "Hah! Apparently all of you were horsing around with these mortals. I've wasted my time scheming evil plans for you to execute, but what did I get? Nothing!!! All because of your incompetency, and your disrespect to me! You should thank me for not killing you on the first place, especially you Jadeite!" Jadeite only shrugged.

Zoisite said something a little loud to himself "Yeah, at least dating the girls were so much better than standing here getting yelled everyday by some cranky old hag with horns on her shoulders that still lusting over a moronic prince for more than a Millennium…"

"Ha ha! He's got a point there…" Nephrite added.

"WHAT?!"

SMACK! "Ow!! What was that for??!" Zoisite rubbed the back of his head. Beside him, Kunzite glared a million daggers to Nephrite and Zoisite. "You two better watch your mouths if you don't want to face your doom in a matter of seconds." His words clamped between gritted teeth.

"Apologies for our disrespect to you my Queen. We are pleased to accept your punishment. " Kunzite bowed his head. Somewhere in the background Nephrite coughed *cough*ass-licker*cough*.

"Hmph! don't be so sure Kunzite. I'm not going to punish you with the Eternal Sleep. Look what happened to Jadeite. I'm not going to make the same mistake again. Right now, I'm going to punish you with…. THE ETERNAL CHAOTIC DIMENSION OF NOWHERE!!! Behold!!!" Queen Beryl held her staff high, a blinding white light appeared from the crystal ball. The Shitennou tried to escape, two shadowy figures of their comrades disappeared, Kunzite and Jadeite can only watch as the white light surrounding their bodies forced them to fly into other dimension.

Meanwhile.......

Nephrite woke up from his nightmare. His face was still covered with mashed potato. "You're still alive?! Mr. Stanton, can you hear me??"

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in a hospital right now. I called your secretary and attorney, just in case if you…"

"HAHAHAHA..YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM MY PUNISHMENT!"

"…Ow….Shit….."

POOF!!!

Nephrite's body was gone. The bald CEO fainted, and a string of horrendous screams came from the nurse and patients who were unwillingly became a witness of a bizarre supernatural event.

Ami sat still, waiting for Zoisite's spirit, or shadow, or whatever he called it to come back from Dark Kingdom. In the next few minutes, Zoisite's stiff body moved. His green eyes alive again. Ami rushed to his side, holding his arm tight "Zoi-chan! You're back! What happened? Was Queen Beryl angry with you?" her voice coated with concern and worry.

"A-Ami-Chan….I think I'm in big trouble…." POOF!

Ami's hand held the empty air. She gasped in shock, but she already knew what to do next. She opened up her cell phone, texting the message to her Senshi friends.

"Girls, this is emergency……"


End file.
